


just a drop of water in an endless sea

by star_munches



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Dad, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Platonic Relationships, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, not that Tony will ever admit that, spider son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 12:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16095641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_munches/pseuds/star_munches
Summary: "I know how it feels, after the battle," Tony says, his voice rendered to barely a whisper. "You see things, monsters, whatever—it's surreal. Just a big adventure. But then—" his voice breaks. "People get hurt. People die. And afterward… any reminder of it can send you in a downward spiral real bad, real quick."Tony sniffs—no, he's not crying, stop asking—and looks Peter in the eye."You're just a kid," he says, continuing quickly before the seventeen-year-old can protest. "You've got a whole life ahead of you. I just—I didn't want those painful reminders to turn you into a mess."Like me.(or: Thanos is gone. The war is over. But the memories—they'll stay. Forever. And Tony is determined to never let the kid get hurt again.)





	just a drop of water in an endless sea

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to some classic hurt/comfort featuring your favorite Iron Dad and Spider Son.
> 
> The title of this fic is from the song Dust in the Wind by Kansas. Depressing songs fit for depressing fics, right?
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy this little one-shot. Here we go!

"Hey, kid, can you go downstairs to storage unit, uh, 12B, I think? There's a small package waiting there for you. You'll see it right away—it's right by the door." 

Peter hops down from his seat across Tony, placing his lab glasses on the table in front of him. "Sure thing, Mr. Stark." 

Tony peers at him from the corner of his eye as he leaves the laboratory. A second later, Peter's face pops in again from the doorframe. 

"Hey, uh, Mr. Stark? What storage unit was it?" 

"12B." 

"And, um, where is that?" 

Tony sighs, taking off his glasses. "Ask F.R.I.D.A.Y." 

Peter flashes him a thumbs-up, already moving down the hallway again. "Thank you, Mr. Stark!" he calls out as he leaves. 

As soon as the kid's gone and his loud conversation with F.R.I.D.A.Y. recedes to a distant echo, Tony gets back to work. He needs to finish this part of the project now, while the kid is away, to minimize the risk of him seeing what Tony is working on. 

He's barely put back on his glasses before his A.I.'s voice fills his ears. "Boss, Peter has a question for you." 

Choosing to multitask, Tony responds while still working on his project. "Yeah? What's that?" 

"He's asking what the contents of the package in unit 12B are." 

"Well," Tony says, swiftly fixing an error he found within the item's programming, "you can tell him that he needs to bring the box back here to find out." 

He frowns as he examines the coding of the module, realizing that this new bug he found might take a little more time to fix. "Actually… tell him that he can explore that storage unit a little more—there's… uh, there's another package that he needs to find. It looks just like it. Tell him he can't go back until he's found both." 

In fact, there is no other identical package, and Tony is only 50% sure that the first package even exists. He just needs more time—a little lie or two can't hurt, right? Tony's lied much worse in the past. 

_It's a white lie,_ Tony tells himself. _I'm still a great person and mentor for the kid. White lies._

He spends fifteen more minutes solving the remaining errors in the project's programming before F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice speaks again. 

"Sorry to bother you boss, but Peter wants to know if he can open the first package now. He says it will help him find the second one." 

_Jesus Christ._ "Yeah, no, F.R.I.D.A.Y., just tell him to keep looking. Keep him occupied for me, will you?" 

"Yes, boss." 

At least there was a package. That was the good news. The bad news… well, Peter's convinced that it holds a surprise, or something important. 

Tony's pretty sure that box has held his half-eaten chicken salad as some point. 

He sighs and plunges forwards with his work. Almost done. Then he'll hide the project, bring the kid up, and spend some more time with him before his aunt drags him back home. 

Though, to be honest, Tony hates keeping these secrets from the kid. He hates being away from him—not that he'll ever admit that. Lately, he's been using Peter's skills in the lab as an excuse to be near him, although it's been hard to pry him away from his scary aunt's line of sight. 

He supposes the whole ordeal with… _space…_ has left them both the same way. Scarred. Terrified. Determined to never let it happen again. 

Tony remembers it, sees it every time he closes his eyes; a teenage kid with too much to live for, too many friends that need him, just _slipping away_ from his fingertips, turning into— 

_Nope._

Ever since The Thing, Tony's made a list of what not to think about in his mind. The Thing is definitely a part of it. And _goddammit,_ Tony's thinking about it right now, he needs to stop or else he'll never get it out of his head, his whole afternoon with the kid will be ruined— 

"Boss, Peter asked me to do a scan of storage unit 12B. I found no packages resembling the one Peter has. However, I did find a nearly identical one in storage unit 20A. Shall I give him access to this room?" 

"Um," Tony manages, digging his nails into his palms and trying to bring his expression under control, "Yeah. Yes, that'll be… that'll be fine." 

_Almost done._ Just like that, he's working again, trying to ward off the feeling that Peter is in trouble. He's fine, Tony knows that. The Avengers Facility is one of the most safeguarded ones in the world. Sure, only Tony and Peter are there at the moment, but that doesn't make it any less secure. 

Besides. F.R.I.D.A.Y. will alert him if there are any issues. 

Finally, Tony makes final last finishing touches to his project. He lets his A.I. run one last performance test, finds his results to be pretty damn successful (as usual, of course), and hides the project in a storage case in the nearest closet. Peter won't find out about this. Not yet. 

It takes several minutes for Tony to realize that he hasn't heard from Peter in over an hour. Panic overtakes him, as smooth and slick as melted glass, before he regains some of his control and does the most logical thing he can think of: he asks his A.I. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., where's the kid? Why's he not—what's he doing right now?" 

"My sensors indicate that he is still in storage unit 20A." 

His stomach sinks. "20A? Why is he— _oh._ " 

He suddenly remembers his conversation with Friday earlier. Telling Peter to explore the rooms. Giving him access to 20A. 

_Shit._

"What's he doing? Is he—what's going on down there?" 

"Peter is currently curled up on the floor of the room. His heartbeat has quickened significantly. If my cameras are correct, then he appears to be crying." 

" _What?"_ Tony exclaims, swiftly leaving the laboratory and fumbling around the facility for one of the elevators. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., you're supposed to tell me when these things happen!" 

"Peter told me not to tell you," the voice responds. Tony can almost swear there's a hint of smugness present in the A.I.'s tone. 

He finds the elevator, finally, and frantically slams the button. "Yeah, and who runs this building, huh? Who made you, Fri? A fifteen-year-old kid in high school?" 

"Peter is seventeen," she says. "Also… he seemed to have good intentions." 

The elevator takes too long—Tony thrusts open the door to the emergency stairs and starts sprinting down. "Yeah, okay. Fri, remind me later to go through your programming and improve your situational and logical decision-making skills." 

"Reminder added," F.R.I.D.A.Y. states, that smugness from earlier clearly evident. 

Finally, Tony reaches the bottom floor and wastes no time dashing through the hallways in pursuit of room 20A. Damn, why did he have to make this place so _big?_ The longer it takes, the more the kid suffers, and if there's one thing Tony has been telling himself after Thanos it is that he would never, _ever_ let the kid— 

Finally, his eyes meet the bold letters: **Room 20B.** Slamming open the doors, Tony ignores the massive ship hangers, the plethora of aisles scattered throughout the room, filled with junk, abandoned ideas, important prototypes—anything, really. Tony doesn't need to examine the storage unit, which is easily twice as tall and wide as Peter's apartment building; he's already spent months here, in the aftermath of the purple Titan, trying to distract himself from the painful reminders of his failures. 

He doesn't want the kid to see that, this dark side of Tony and how the events on Titan have truly affected him. 

But he's heard his A.I., knows that Peter doesn't cry much, but that when he does, it's bad. Painful. Probably because of a reminder of his tragic past, the loss of his family. But in this room… there's no telling what he could've found, and what memories they might've stirred. 

It takes Tony several minutes to find him (the room is _massive_ ) _._ The kid is leaning against a shelf, clutching a small brown package to his chest, obviously recovering from a meltdown. 

As soon as Peter's eyes land on Tony, he jumps straight to his feet, hastily wiping his tears away. He puts on a clear, forced smile, holding the package in front of him. 

"Hi, Mr. Stark!" he says, a little too fast for Tony's liking. "I have the package for you! I looked for the other one, but I couldn't find it. Well, I found one, but it's not the right one. Sorry. I'll look harder if you want." 

And he hates himself, hates that the kid is doing this. Trying to conceal his pain and weaknesses from Tony and opting to suffer through them by himself, in isolation. 

It reminds him of his father. How Tony would do the exact same thing to him, not expecting his parent to care or sympathize in the slightest. 

He wants things to be different with the kid. He wants Peter to _trust_ him. Instead, history seems to be repeating itself. 

And Tony won't have any of it. 

"Yeah, cut the bullshit, kid. What happened?" 

He winces at his harsh tone, and so does the kid. Tony bites his lip and tries again. 

"I mean… is there anything going on? Do you need—can I help you?" 

Peter sniffles, shaking his head. "I'm fine. I'm great. I just… don't think I found the right package." 

Tony takes a step towards him, urging the box from his hands. "It's okay, kid. The package wasn't important anyway." 

"Yes, it was," Peter says. "I looked… everywhere. F.R.I.D.A.Y. did a scan, and I found this other box—but it wasn't exactly the same, so I opened it and the other box, too—and I know what you're going to say, 'Peter, you shouldn't have opened it,' and I'm sorry, I really am…" he takes a deep breath. "I don't think it was the right one. It was—it was very different." 

Tony sits down, leaning his back against the shelf. He encourages Peter to do the same. When they're finally both settled, Tony examines the brown, rectangular parcel in his hands. "Will you tell me what you found?" he asks, his voice bearing a softness even he didn't know existed. 

"I—" Peter sniffs, wiping his eyes again. "Sorry. I shouldn't… sorry." 

"S'okay, kid. Tell me when you're ready. Really, it's fine." 

Peter inhales shakily, clearly trying to regain control. After a moment, he speaks up again. "I just… I think I found some stuff I wasn't s'posed to find," he says. "In the first box, there were some screws and spare regulator parts. In this other one that I found…" 

The kid pushes up to his feet with some effort and makes his way down the aisle. He emerges a moment later with a similar-looking parcel in his hands. 

"It had something else," Peter manages, sitting back down again. Slowly and carefully, Tony takes the object from him and opens it up. 

_Damn you, F.R.I.D.A.Y._ The robot is too good at her job. Peter would never have found this if she hadn't scanned the room for it. 

On the outside, the box looks similar to the first one Peter found. On the inside… lies Tony's deepest secrets. The one thing he had promised himself that the kid would never find out about. 

And yet here they are. 

"Kid," he breathes, and that's all he can manage. He looks at the package's contents, filled to the brim with miscellaneous notes and desperate ideas Tony created, back when Thanos was alive and well, and Peter was definitely not. Tony spots blueprints for spaceships, sketches for homemade infinity stone gauntlets, and notes for thousands of modifications he made to his suits in a matter of months. The whole box smells like beer—no surprise there. Those were the times when Tony thought that all hope was lost, but still drove himself nearly to death with work, and sleep deprivation, and drinking. 

"I saw this and… I guess, I just started looking around the room more," Peter mumbles. Tony stares at him in horror. "This isn't even the worst of it." 

He's right—this small box, no wider than a computer, can only hold so many truths. One look at this room and all of Tony's secrets are revealed. 

He doesn't know why everything from those dark months ended up here. He assumes it must've been F.R.I.D.A.Y., organizing his work when he was too drunk to care. 

And now the kid has to see it. 

"Pete, look, I—" 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demands, and Tony's heart sinks a little bit more. "This whole time, I thought that while we were spending time in the Soul Dimension, you were fine! Starting a family with Pepper! Raising your new kid Morgan! You _said_ that to me!" 

The kid's outburst is so sudden, so essentially out of character that it takes Tony a minute to process his words. 

"You _told_ me that you were taking care of yourself because you realized that life is too short and that you have to take care of family while you can! And now, I find all this—this _stuff,_ proof that you were working and drinking yourself away, not being with your family at all!" 

The kid is crying again, a solitary tear trickling down his cheek. 

"Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you lie to me?" 

A memory reaches the surface of Tony's mind. 

Steve's armor, Bucky's metal arm, the glare of the video screen lighting up the room. _Don't bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know?_

Tony grasps Peter's hands in his own. "Peter. Look at me." 

The kid forces his eyes to meet his mentor's. 

"I'm sorry," he says, hoping to make it sound as genuine as possible. "I should've done you better." 

Tony takes a deep breath, his lungs rattling. Tears threaten to fall from his eyes. _Nope. Not doing that. Get it together, Tony._

"All I wanted to do was protect you," he continues. "And when I failed… I sort of lost it. It wasn't right. And then I lied to you, thinking it was better you didn't know…" his voice trails off. _God, I'm just like Rogers._ "It was wrong. I messed up. And I'm so sorry for that, kid. You deserve better." 

Tony is quite proud of himself for that speech— _way to go with the apologies and the flimsy feely stuff_ —until he sees Peter's expression. Apparently, that's the wrong thing to say after all. 

" _Sorry?_ You—you shouldn't be sorry! _I_ did this to you! _I_ was the one that died, and left you alone on an alien planet! If there's anyone who should be sorry here, it's me!" 

Tony stares at him incredulously. 

Wait, is the kid _apologizing?_

"Kid, you're—no. Okay, just no. Come here." 

Tony hugs him then. It's not an uncommon thing for them to do, at this point. Both of them needs a bit of reassurance every once in a while. But every time, it still amazes how it affects Tony—like he's finally becoming the father figure he always to be for Peter. 

Wait. No. That's not right. Tony was his mentor. The kid was his protégé. Nothing domestic about it at all. 

Tony clears his throat and releases his grip on Peter. His mind scrambles for something to do now, something to say that will help the kid even more... 

"Come back upstairs to the lab. I have something to show you." 

Peter nods. Well, too late to back down now… 

"Should I bring the package? Or packages?" 

Tony snorts. "Kid, you can dump them both in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, for all I care. Leave them here. Tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get rid of them." 

Peter nods, again, and sets the boxes carefully on the floor, side by side. Soon, he's following Tony back through the maze of shelves and aisles of storage unit 20B and towards the elevators. 

"You shouldn't be sorry, kid," Tony says as they wait for the elevator to arrive. "No one should be sorry. All of this is Thanos' fault, and I forbid you from believing otherwise." 

"Yes, sir," is the kid's only response. 

Finally, the elevator arrives. The ride back up to the lab is awkward, to say the least. The door opens, they step out, they walk back through the hallways of the facility… 

Eventually, they reach the laboratory once again. Tony's never been quite as relieved to find the projects intact and bitter smell of metal still lingering in the air. Peter follows him into the room, no doubt unsure of what Tony's going to show him. 

"Hang on, kid," Tony says as he makes his way to the closet in the back. 

He had promised himself earlier that he wouldn't show this particular project to Peter until he was ready. It was important that he showed this to him when he was ready. Times were tough. Patience was a virtue. _I shouldn't show this to him now, while the memories as so fresh,_ he had thought. 

But now… Tony actually believes that it's a way to show his gratitude for the kid and to rebuild the trust between them. Even if he's a bit reluctant. 

Tony emerges from the closet with a storage case in his hands. 

Peter frowns. "What's that?" 

"It's a, uh, present, of sorts." 

He puts the case down on a lab table in front of him. 

"Go ahead, open it." 

Tentatively, Peter reaches for the case. He glimpses at its black cover, hesitating, before undoing the buckles and opening it. 

Peter stares at its contents in disbelief. 

It isn't much, really, by Tony's standards. He's spent roughly a day on this, however, so he hopes that Peter will come to appreciate it. If not—well, Tony can understand why. 

"It's—it's my old Spidey suit," Peter says, breathless. "Did you—why did you remake it?" 

"I didn't remake it, kid," Tony responds. "I improved it." 

Peter frowns. "Really? It looks exactly the same." 

Tony takes the suit from the kid's hands and examines it. He hadn't been lying—it does look very similar to the first suit he'd made for him all those years ago. But there are some notable differences. 

"I gave you a Spider-Suit two years ago before we went to Germany, you remember that?" 

"Best moment of my life," Peter mumbles under his breath. 

Tony pretends not to have heard that. "Well, you wore that suit for two years, replacing the piece of shit you used before that. The locals in Queens have come to love Spider-Man and trust him to be there whenever there's trouble. I thought, instead of changing to that Iron-Spider suit I made, we should just stick to the original design. After all, people can use a little old-fashioned." 

Tony takes a deep breath. "Thing is, I hate old-fashioned. Your other suit was so outdated—two years old, really? I added as much as I could to it—I had that raccoon, y'know, the angry one with the pet tree? Well, I had him steal some vibranium from Shuri in exchange for a spare arm from my Iron suit—weird request, but it worked, so whatever—anyway…" he gestures towards the suit. "It's the same design. Looks almost exactly like your old one. But it's even advanced than the Iron-Spider. I think…" he hesitates. "I think it suits you better." 

Peter is quiet for a moment, simply gazing at the red-and-blue suit, the iconic spider symbol on the front. Eventually, he looks up to meet Tony's eyes. 

"But that's not the only reason you made this, is it?" 

An uncomfortable sensation prickles his skin. "What d'you mean, kid?" 

"You made this because you don't think I can handle wearing the Iron Spider suit. After Thanos, and everything I did in that outfit, you don't think I can wear it again without breaking down." 

_Shit._

And just when things had been going so well for Tony. 

He's been spending quality time with the kid, he's been comforting him when he's been down—sure, he messed up with the whole package thing, but really, it turned out fine, didn't it? He had been thinking that he would get extra points for giving the suit to Peter—Fury would be proud of him—and yet, things got messed up again. Peter's too smart for his own good. 

"Kid, I'm not—it's not like that, kid, you know that—" 

"You don't think I can get through this," his eyes flash with a vehemence Tony has never seen before. "Because I'm just a kid. You think I'm too weak to handle it." 

Tony shuts his eyes for a count of three—four—and apologizes to any god he's ever offended before. Because, really, why else would the universe give him such a hard time? 

Finally, he opens his eyes and sighs. "Kid— _Peter_ —look. Never in my _life_ have I thought of you as weak. You're stronger me, in fact. I just—I don't know, I felt like I had to—" 

He freezes. 

_I felt like I had to protect you._

Wow. Second time in one day Tony has tried to protect him. Also the second time it had backfired, miserably. 

"I know how it feels, after the battle," Tony says, his voice rendered to barely a whisper. "You see things, monsters, whatever—it's surreal. Just a big adventure. But then—" his voice breaks. "People get hurt. People die. And afterward… any reminder of it can send you in a downward spiral real bad, real quick." 

Tony sniffs—no, he's not crying, stop asking—and looks Peter in the eye. 

"You're just a kid," he says, continuing quickly before the seventeen-year-old can protest. "You've got a whole life ahead of you. I just—I didn't want those painful reminders to turn you into a mess." 

_Like me._

Tony clears his throat. "Of course, I'm not implying that either one of us is a mess—we're Avengers, for god's sake, we know how to deal with our shit. Definitely. I was just… trying to help." 

Tony dabs at his eyes with his sleeve—damn, there's so much dust in this lab, he really needs to have it cleaned—and before he knows it, the kid's arms are around him for the second time that day. 

Oh yay. More hugs. 

"Thank you, Mr. Stark," the kid murmurs into his chest. "Thank you for the suit and the… well. The encouraging words." 

Tony manages a smile at that. 

_Oh yeah. Fury would definitely be proud._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated. What do you think? Should I write more fics like this? 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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